How many times have you been given a compliment only to shake it off as nothing. For example, someone congratulates you on working out every week. Instead of saying thank you, you say well it's only three times a week for fifteen minutes. Or worse yet, what if you say well Janey started working out at the same time as me and now she works out for an hour………...WTF?…...mood kill! You just put yourself down for making progress in the right direction.
Obviously, most of us just say thank you when we are given a compliment, but these are the conversations that are going on in our head. These thoughts work against us. If you don’t feel proud of the little successes that you make, it is easy not to push yourself to do more or even worse give up.
Let me put it a different way. What if Jimmy a 2 year old boy comes up to you all excited and said “I peed in the potty” and your response is “Everyone pees in the potty” and oh by the way, “Timmy did it three months ago”. First off, you all made Jimmy feel bad about himself….shame on you. And second of all, what are the chances that Jimmy is going to pee on the potty again anytime soon. Probably slim to none. What are the chances that Jimmy is going to try anything new in the near future…….yeah….probably not good.
You would never talk to a 2 year old that pees on the potty for the first time like that….because you are a NICE person. Especially if it is your kid…..you start jumping up and down like a maniac making the biggest deal out of it that you can. Guess what…..Jimmy feels good about himself and pees on the potty again, then again and again until that is just what he does.
I would love to say that we are different than a two year old but the truth is we are not. We all want to feel good about ourselves and what we are doing. We do more of what makes us feel good about ourselves and less of what doesn't. Outside validation is awesome. We all crave it but what we really need is to hear the congrats from ourselves.
So the next time you choose an apple instead of a candy bar. Walk an extra 500 steps each day for a week. Go to the gym for a week. Earn a personal best! Have a party!!! Congratulate yourself. Keep congratulating yourself and see how quickly all those little steps add up to something big.
Questions? Contact me at Theresa.Worley@icloud.com