What is GOOD about NOT changing? It probably seems weird to ask yourself that question. We immediately want to yell out: NOTHING. There is nothing good about staying the same, why do you think I am here. I want to show you why this might be the most important question you ask yourself on the journey to creating lasting change.
How many times have you researched a new “healthy” plan. You have cleared the cupboards, bought a new gym membership, stated your goals out loud and then you falter after a week or two. You not only falter but you crash and burn. You start beating yourself up because you were not motivated or disciplined enough to follow through. Basically, you think you suck.
The reason you fail is because you have not paid homage to why you have the habits that you have. Why is it after dinner do you always reach for the chocolate? Or what is it about the nightcap that you just can not say no to? People often think that it is just a lack of self-discipline and motivation. Spoiler alert: There is a degree of the motivation and discipline needed to reach your goals, it just isn’t the whole story. It is difficult to say no to the cake the first night and the second but in two weeks it might not seem as hard. The point that people often overlook is WHY do you eat the cake or drink a glass of wine every night?
I will use myself as an example. I drink a lot of coffee and I also have trouble sleeping. I know that I should not have coffee after 11am if I want to sleep well but even as I type this at 1pm I am sipping on a cup despite knowing that it will have a detrimental effect this evening but for right now I can not stop myself. Why is that? When I drink coffee I feel that it helps me to focus, it helps me bring awareness to what I am doing and allows me to breath and relax. Is coffee all powerful or magical? NO...not at all. I have just built a habit around working, relaxing and coffee.
To take my coffee away cold turkey would be difficult for me if I didn’t explore what is good about NOT changing. This allows you to see how the habit you currently have and how it is serving you on both a deeper and emotional level. Knowing that I see coffee as a way to relax, be productive and relieve anxiety, I know that the habit I put in its place must serve those functions. I also know those days when I am reaching for that coffee mid-day to ask myself, am I reaching for the coffee because I crave the taste or am I feeling anxiety? If I stumble and drink the coffee like I am today, it gives me an opportunity to reflect and ask myself why?
In the same token when you ask yourself what is good about NOT changing one should ask themselves what is GOOD about changing. For me, giving up coffee after 11am will allow me to sleep better, feel more rested and aid me in being productive without feeling the pull of tiredness. Better sleep will allow for better mood and therefore better outlook, relationships and LESS coffee. It will offer me an opportunity for me to create new habits such as meditation and journaling to quench my anxiety which hopefully moves me in a positive directions.
So on your quest towards creating a better you. I ask you what is good about making a change but in the same breath I ask you to look at what is good about NOT changing. These answers here are your key to success.